Saturday, July 31, 2010

perfection can be perfect hell.

Its like losing your GDC. The 450 bucks worth one. And your looking for it. High and low. It costs so much, its value is, well to an IB student almost priceless. And you scour your whole room for it. Upturn boxes, look through yesterdays dirty laundry. And you ask your friends have they seen it. You paste notices begging for it.

Suddenly, lo and behold!


You pick it up, and caress it, and you croon to it. Best feeling in the world kan?

Thats kinda like how HE feels. When you go against HIM and do things HE doesn't like. HE feels like HE's lost you. HE looks for you everywhere, HE finds ways to get you to come back to him. HE longs for you!
When you finally come back to HIM, HE's elated.HE hates losing you. To HIM, your precious. HE loves you so much more than you know. 
Its just that you don't know. So come back to HIM. 

HE's looking for you.Always.

"Come, even if you have broken your vows, come, and come again. For ours is not a caravan of despair" - Rumi
Credits to Kak Izzati for the analogy.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

going native?

First external CAS visit today! Ambition, and enthusiasm at an all time high. 
My first chance to actually give back some Service  to the community after 18 years of living.

So our CAS group was assigned SK Bukit Tadom (A), an Orang Asli school so close to KMB that we didn't even get to say more than 10 sentences in the van before we reached.

Our first glimpse of the kids: PJ time! They were running around the field, kids of all shapes and sizes and ages. Note that this school has only a 103 kids so PJ time is the same for all standards.

First impression: OH MY HOLY MOLY.

Exposure numero uno,

1. Orang Asli kids have no / limited interest in school.
2. Don't speak Malay well.
3. Don't see the point in ambition.
4. Are very polite and gel with you almost instantly. 
5. Pretty much like most kids, only with a less heightened sense of future and the vastness of opportunities to be found anywhere

Got my first marriage proposal by an 11 year old named Yusri. =P He apparently finds it weird that I'm 18, (he thinks of 18 year olds as old and wrinkled his face to depict how I should look like) and the fact that I'm not married and still want to go to school VERY ODD. These kids are advanced! 

But you can see their family structures aren't so rock solid, and it really affects them. Like a kid whispered to me that he hadn't seen his dad and mum in months. Or their dads spend time looking at for the end of their drink bottles and their mums have to shoulder the load of work. Picture you as a 10 year old, waking up to find your parents gone, no food, your clothes unwashed. Even you'd not want to go to school.

New mission: Give them hope, even if its just a little. Broaden their horizons, even if its just to get them to set foot in secondary school. 

For everyone out there, you should know that you're LUCKY.
I think the External CAS did more good to my soul than to the kids.

be my anchor

Its a journey.
How long, how hard, how far,
We have not been tested,
Nor have we been tried.

Is it too soon to say,
We'll be victorious all the way?
Is the ambition we seek,
Too much a dream, too soon be bleak?

One thing I know for certain be,
This journey would be much sweet,
If I had you guys were here with me,
And all the odds together we'll beat.

Lord, we come to you know, with a mission to find your light, to find you in the midst of knowledge, to be closer to you, to be your humble servants. Forever after.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

big mouthed.

I've always knew I had one. Just never knew how big it was and how I'd suffer from it. I don't mean literal big mouth or figurative big mouth.

I mean I had a big mouth and bit off more than I can chew.

Due to the paranoia of unfinished CAS hours and impending doom of not succeeding, I joined every single club I could lay my hands on. All under the impression that my membership wasn't certain so I had to join many to have fail safes.

HA. Thank you self for causing my malfunction so early on.

Lesson #1 - Don't be club-happy and go gaga over CAS hours. 

One very nasty week. Stoked that Wani and I got on Med Sem Committee and now sponsor hunting! Any potential sponsors for a medical seminar targeted for 18-19 year olds contact me.

Farah and I are turning more nocturnal day by day. 

M10A-ians are awe-inspiring people. Flabbergasted into perpetual silence. I find this place brings out the better half of me. I intend to keep it that way. Although occasional pangs of self-consciousness bothers me, Allah didn't burden me if He didn't know I'd be okay.

PS: Gods love letters compilations are cool.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Trem bernama Desire

Blog withdrawal syndrome. Pardon me. So many things to say, so little time. *Insert dramatic sigh*

The people: The ones I've been searching for. A roomie who considers afternoon naps a daily staple. M10A-ians who love Nasi Lemak like no other dish. Friends, old and new, who share ideals and plans as well as DS food with you.

Things which I've been poking my nose into,
 MARA Got Ideas - Social innovation project exposure. 2 days of pure eye-opening, brainstorming, sales-pitching, Waka Waka-ing fun.

Tutor-Tutee - I'm a full-fledged tutor for Year 6 kiddies facing UPSR soon. Time to dive into my twisted childhood and resurrect memories of what I learnt when I was 12...

Beyond The Norm - I refuse to be ignorant. We were once on top. And together, we'll work together to put us back there. Allahu Akbar!

Rifhan's surprise birthday bash! Commuting from KMB to Pyramid to MSU and back again. Yes, we've been busy. Love you girls much.


Quote of the day, taken from Cikgu Rokiah's Warisan class,
"Awak tak nak belajar Sejarah? Kenapa? Awak tak ada keturunan?"

IloveKMB. Dear Bankies, wish you were here.