because i'll look back at this post

Peace be upon you :D


The week in rewind.
I'm really flabbergasted at the fact that I've been learning Pendidikan Agama Islam since Std 1 and the Prophets story isn't a new one, but yet, I feel like I've just entered Islam recently and just knew my Prophet. Allahuma solli 'ala Muhammad. Allah, grant peace upon our Beloved Rasul.


So everyone tells you, this ain't high school people. Hear it often enough and you'll either get ultra freaked out or you get immune to it. Sorry to say, I'm of the latter. 
Till Wednesday evening. 


Friday evening,
As I lie and ponder, at the amassing work pile, at the Holy Book with all the "nice" ayats neatly marked, at the EE timeline plastered to the wall, at the G4 proposal and ToK outline waiting to be completed, at the Econs IA left untouched, it does inspire some very nasty thoughts.

Its so easy for me to slip from conscious, sane thoughts that tell me, God is testing me, but never, never does he forsake you if you come to Him to straying thoughts that delve into darker treacherous waters.


Allah says, “If my servant comes closer to Me a hand span, I come closer to him or her an arms-length; and if he or she comes to Me walking, I come to him or her at speed.” (Bukhari)


Why is it that I have to consciously direct my thoughts to Him? A slave thinks only of his bondage, his master, executing his masters bidding, seeking his masters pleasure. Seems like acting like a slave ignorant of his situation is something I've been used to.


But His mercy truly knows no bounds. As I was being kept away by Leka from my evening nap (bad, bad habit), who else would turn up at my room if not NAILY and KIA! 


Truly My Lord knows best. Them being there, being able to hug my bestest friends again, was truly God's planning at work. He knew that sending them here was the best for me. And me, being the hothead, spontaneous, devil-may-care girl I am, upped and packed my stuff for a much needed sleepover at Naily's. Epic impulsive. But an epic cure.

Naily and Kia, Allah bless you!


Saturday morning.
I barely remember telling Mummy that I wanted to eat some fruits on the phone when she said she wanted to come for Academic Day. It still weirded me out why she'd want to drive all the way to this Palm Oil Wonderland just to see my teachers.


Not that she's really attended my report card days before this.


But Mummy turned up this morning, uber enthusiastic and I almost cried when she handed me 4 bags of fruits. And they were all cut up into little cubes. AND she used the fancy cutter that makes little patterns by the side. 


Although I didn't go with her to the hall cause I was in a Cambodia meeting, she took notes on what my teachers said, and, I don't know about you, but I felt like I was such a wretched daughter for not appreciating a mummy like this. Sometimes, all it takes is the little things for you to realize big facts. 


I love you Mummy, may Allah bless you, and have mercy on you the way you had mercy on me when I was young. And of course Daddy too.


Friday's usrah came rushing to me then.
Whoever favors Me over others, I favor them over others. I reward every single good deed ten times over or seven hundred times over to countless times over. I count every single bad deed as one unless the person repents and ask for My Forgiveness in which case I forgive even that one. I take into account any little good deed and I forgive even major sins. My Mercy supersedes My Anger; My Tolerance supersedes My Blame; My Forgiveness supersedes My Punishment as I am more merciful with My slaves than a mother with her child.” (Madarij As-Saalikeen by Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziya)


O Allah, I see now that you inspired Mummy's love, and all of it came from you. And its this thought, that made this week, that much better. The knowledge and reassurance, that My Lord and Protector, is merciful and always there.

So really, a week isn't filled with frightening instances, just depends on how you look at it. Thank you, Allah.