curiosity killed the cat.

So I succumbed to technology. 

www.formspring.me/syakirahazis

Ask me anything?

keep me in mind.

Its been the same mantra since July when M dropped the bomb that she's found the one and wants to get married. Kahwin, marriage, hantaran?! As if I don't get enough of this topic in BM class with AGAR, Menjelang Takbir and TBD.
My first reaction when M told me was "O__O"
Truth be told the age gap between us made it such that when she was in KY I was a little tot in primary school then she flew a thousand miles away while I was busy growing up and a month after I enrolled in college, she graduated and returned for good.
Now she's getting married.
So clearly, the vague memories of our childhood are exactly that, vague.
The memories of us in my primary school years are of her in college, poised to fly off to a foreign country, then her packing to leave, then her actually leaving.
The ones of us when I was in secondary school were momentarily glimpses of a sister who was only around some summers to act as my chauffeur. When I went to PC, it was like she was my 'fictional' sister.
The memories I'm making of us now are of cleaning the house for her engagement, surveying wedding boutiques, shopping for the perfect wedding dress, bearing the heat to look for hantarans in Kelantan, trying out her tanjak and picking out a matching sampin...

Its another stage of life, weddings are a cause of celebration right? I wish I had more time to just have my sister as my own. Possessive much. I hope I don't end up next to the row of mak ciks bawling into a handkerchief when he says "Aku terima nikahnya..." 

nyum nyum.

Upon my arrival yesterday, my father looks away from his TV program and asks me to go see whats in the fridge. And right on cue, my tummy does a double flip as I'm greeted with the gastronomically appealing sight of popia basah, beautifully wrapped in clear plastic, waiting for me to engulf them! :)

And I search the fridge some more and my further inspections yield jam and cheese tarts in the chilled compartment and a quick glance around the kitchen shows a pot of beef stew on the stove. So I chomp and chomp away.....

And then I'm sure I stumbled on a can of Pringles but I'm pretty sure it was half filled because I can't have eaten it ALL right? And not to mention the pisang goreng in the car back from KMB..... 

And then today after my super size bowl of Koko Krunch at 9 and another one at 12, I found more Pringles! Right after I tel myself I'm full, mummy comes home with Chicken Shawarma, so I thought, "Oh well, mummy's already bought it right?" Then she pulls out scones and I nibble away. Then my trained eye spots cold cuts in a container so I fix myself a salami sandwich. As the OVERLOAD level of my tummy was reached, I fall asleep only to awake 3 hours later feeling HUNGRY.

I should be worried. This is only Saturday. Oh man. 

Banal.

No one likes being pushed around. Usually I'm in this mental frame with metal dimensions. I let no one in to mess me up. Especially academically. Come hell or high water, I'll don my armoured suit and when it comes to studying nothing makes holes in my resolve.
Seems there are thousands of ways to be tested. Now, I find myself affected by the most trivial things. Worst of all, I find myself being pushed into a corner where to be silent is to hurt yourself and to lash out would be to hurt your friends.

I really wish you guys would stop. I dread the way that I'm affected by such a teeny thing. Maybe the problem is me.

All this pressure to perform is reminiscent of PC. The stakes are no doubt higher because its a new playing field and the first spar proves the strength of the player. Time to get serious, lets get to business.
But....

heinemann and wazir.

In the name of Allah, most gracious, most merciful.
Hit the four month mark of being in KMB. Not what you would expect. I guess my experience and my take on this college may differ from that of the genereal population but at this point of time, I can't help but imbas kembali the mad days pre-SPM with the irreplaceable friends. Time really flies.

Before SPM you were thinking: Will I ever get through this?
But we did. All of us.
Now we're thinking: Will I ever get through IB?
And I'm sure we will. All of us.

For anyone who needs a pick me up, or a proper push, or a tension headache, the UK Education Fair really fits the bill.

Will blog about the various unis and their requirements and their LIMITED places for international students. The semesters ending and as the swelter of exams descends, I wish everyone the best of luck and know that its always a test, be it the one on paper with the heading "FINALS SEM 1" or be it waking up everyday, facing the world and keep waking up again.